Monday, July 30, 2012

Waiting Some More

There's waiting and then there's waiting, and the difference can really be quite profound. Right now I am in the throws of waiting for several things to happen within the next month or so, some exciting, some stressful, others good, or challenging, and some well....a bit of everything actually. But what I have discovered here lately is that when you are waiting for something serious to happen, the other shoe to drop so to speak, it sure helps if you are also waiting for something that excites or delights you. It just seems to help make everything a little more tolerable. Who doesn't like a little sugar with their medicine? After my last doctor's visit I found out that my back rotation has gotten worse since last year and that I now have bone on bone and nerves being pinched, and ouch. So I will be having my second back surgery. I have to say that I am a little excited, but I also have to admit that I am not a very good patient, so there is a lot of anxiety and stress too. What makes this tolerable is that I am also waiting on some good things. My first grandchild is to be born any day now, I have a wedding to attend coming up soon, and I have  been working with a labrador breeder to get a new therapy puppy. I think you get the picture when I say there is waiting and then there is waiting. 

To be realistic, living with chronic pain on a daily basis creates a very fragile existence that requires constant diligence to manage. I wish I could wave a magic wand and give each of you a personal manager whose sole job would be to see that you always have a variety of things to look forward to, but alas I can't. At the very least though I can encourage you to make plans so that you always have something positive in the works. Believe me, I know how hard this can be when you don't feel so hot, especially when you are in the midst of waiting for something that is either scary or challenging. I was there just recently, feeling overwhelmed, anxious and out of control because I was forced to put my life on hold and wait once again. That awful kind of waiting. But you know, simply by expanding my horizon, by mixing in a little positive waiting has made it tolerable. I have good things in my life now that I am looking forward to as well, but I think that the main difference is that because of this balance I have regained my sense of hope, just a little. And you know I am finding that even a little touch of hope is pretty magical. The waiting game suddenly doesn't seem so bad with a little sugar sprinkled into the mix. 

Maybe I do have a magic wand to wave over all of you after all. Try and make some plans and have things to look forward to, the "good" kind of waiting. Think of it as another part of your prescription for your health. A little hocus pocus.

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